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Should I Get A Sex Doll?

24 Apr

About seven months ago a friend loaned me the movie “Lars and the Real Girl”. imagesCAKUA10S

Last week I finally watched it with a few other ministry students and one of our professors. Yeah. (There may be a few spoilers)

In this charming story Lars (Ryan Gosling) is a bit of a “homebody” to put it lightly. But at one point orders a sex doll and makes her into his girlfriend. His family and community respond in a way that will surprise most of you if you haven’t seen it and only read the words “sex doll” just now. I’ll let you pop the movie in and judge for yourself but here’s the two biggest things I took away from the movie:

  1. Community is wildly important to the way we live our life. Lars’ brother and sister-in-law, though concerned for him, allow the delusion hoping that it will “cure” him. The community embraces Bianca (The sex doll girlfriend). She gets a job, volunteers, and is elected to the school board. She has her own life with the people in this small northern town. They love Bianca because they love Lars. The old preacher of their little church asks “What would Jesus do?”. And it made me wonder what the people of my current town – or my hometown would do if I had a public, prolonged mental break like that. Or, what would I do if someone in my community did? I had to ask myself what my relationships were like in those communities. Are they strong? What are they based on? What can they survive? Do I need to get a sex doll and see how people react to know the answers to these questions?┬áIf we’re going to survive the journey that is life with a modicum of sanity, it is essential that we build strong, deep, loving relationships. Especially for those of us who are brothers and sisters in Christ.
  2. Ministry can and will change me as much as, or more than the person I am ministering to. There are two pivotal scenes for Lars’ brother. In one he confesses to his wife that he feels partially to blame for Lars’ condition because he left home as soon as he could and left Lars with their less than communicable father. He breaks down and begins to cry into her. A few scenes later he is apologizing to Lars for this. This is a huge shift from his attitude in the beginning when he tries to berate Lars our of his delusion. The whole time he’s involved in caring for Bianca, and in the process Lars, but it isn’t until now that you believe that he believes what he is doing is for the best for Lars and that he wants that because that is…best. I started to wonder when the last time I got over myself enough to be changed by the person I was ministering to. I didn’t like the answer.

I’d encourage you to watch the movie. It’s funny in a quirky way. You’ll likely enjoy it. More than that ask yourself those questions. How strong is your relationship to your community (Where you live, or your social group, or your faith group, etc.)? Have you been changed by someone you were trying to help? How? If not, why not? Share your answers in the comments, or share something else you took away from “Lars and the Real Girl”.

Grace & Peace,

Stippick

 
6 Comments

Posted by on April 24, 2013 in Wednesday (I still sound it out)

 

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6 responses to “Should I Get A Sex Doll?

  1. Sarah Hickox

    April 24, 2013 at 10:43 am

    I had to watch this movie for an assignment for my Human Sexuality class for my Masters in Counseling program. I was watching with a more “clinical” perspective, but essentially found the same things! Community and family significantly impacts us and shapes our identities [for better or worse]. I wish I had titled my paper the same as this post……. :P

     
    • dstippick

      April 24, 2013 at 12:55 pm

      Thanks for reading Sarah. Feel free to resubmit the paper and use this title. I loved the movie and enjoyed reflecting on it. Hope you, Mark, and Austin are doing great!

       
  2. hpuphd

    April 24, 2013 at 6:05 pm

    I have not seen this movie yet, but I will search for it in the Direct TV menu. It’s probably showing on some channel. I like the look of your blog! Especially the leathery feel of the screen. Very classy. They are having a reception for me tomorrow at 3:30-5:00 at the Mabee balcony. It’s come and go. You can come if you’re free. Bring Colin. Heather. Ashley, if she’s still here. I think there will be cake!

     
    • hpuphd

      April 24, 2013 at 6:06 pm

      Forgot to mention Hillary. But only by a dozen seconds or so. Bring one and all if you like.

       
    • dstippick

      April 26, 2013 at 9:12 am

      I enjoyed the reception – thanks for reminding me about it. You may need to be careful watching the movie…could be “too life affirming for you”!

       
  3. Damon

    May 20, 2013 at 12:37 am

    Finally saw the movie. One question that stuck with me at the end: what if the brother’s original prediction came true? What if Lars grows old with the doll? The story has a happy ending because we see Lars coming out of the delusion. But I wonder how this story ends if the writer explores Lars holding on to the fantasy. I imagine the community support would not be as high if they were to fast forward twenty years later. It was be incredibly sad.
    One other thing that crossed my mind: how can the Real Girl be attracted to Lars? What is appealing about him? I guess someone might point out that it is Ryan Gosling after all! How could any girl pass up an opportunity to be with him!?
    Thanks for the movie recommendation!

     

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